"...And a sword will pierce your own soul too"

If you are wanting a cute, Christmas post today, you'll need to stop reading and check back tomorrow. Today my heart is very heavy. Filled with sadness, remorse and just plain old hurt. I've gone to the Lord poured out my heart and asked Him to show me my fault and heal the hurt, that's all I know to do at this point.  I know that eventually things will resolve, or at the very least, smooth out a little, but for now it is very raw. As you might guess, the problem is with one of our children. To protect their privacy, I'll not share any more specifics. On this blog, I brag on my children, but I'll not air their or my dirty laundry. I bring this up, because big families have run ins and all isn't rosey all the time. So maybe this will encourage someone else who is having a rough go also.

The title of this post is an excerpt from the words spoken to Mary, mother of Jesus, by Simeon  in Luke 2. I think that God put those words to remind us that our children will cause pain. It may be the pain of rebellion, disobedience,  rejection or something else. Heck, they aren't called growing pains for nothing, huh? It's a normal part of parenting.  From the dawn of time, kids have been disappointing their parents. I know that I upset my Mom on more than one occasion. Also, it gives us a great view of how we grieve God's heart. Here we sit knowing so much more than they do, and they ignore us and think that we know nothing. Sounds just like us and God, huh?  Everything we have comes from Him,  and yet we think that we have ourselves and our hard work to credit. 

The only way this isn't a picture of God as our Father is His unfallibility. He doesn't make mistakes. I wish I could say that about myself. Well, I could say it, but it would definitely be a lie. I know I make mistakes daily, but He can take my mistakes and use them for good. Praise God!


So what are we to do?? Apologize when we blow it.  Let them make their mistakes, love them even as they reject us and our standards. Hold on to our values and pray, pray, pray! Maybe even go to God and tell him how sorry we are when we treat him the way our kids treat us?  Whatever you do, don't feel guilty if your child makes a huge mistake, or lacks the discipline you taught them. They are individual people and, as such, become responsible for themselves at some point. We, as parents, can only do so much. I've told God, "*** is yours, I've done the best I can, the rest is up to you!"

All of my kids have given me great joy at one time or another, just as they all have given great pain at one time or another. You have to take the bad with the good. It's just the way it is. I'm thankful for the good times and pray that we will have more of them as we learn from the bad times. I'm thankful to God for this object lesson that shows how much He loves me, and I pray for His strength and wisdom as I walk this journey.

Hopefully, tomorrow will bring something fun and lighthearted for me to share!!