Six months with Elijah

 Behold his cuteness....

Today marks one half of a year that we've known Elijah. Wow! It has flown by. He continues to grow and learn new things every day. He loves, loves, loves to be held. I'm so glad he's not very heavy, or my back would be breaking. He has bonded a bit more with me and John. We now leave him in the nursery at church and he screams like crazy.  It's a bit ironic, but the fact that he screams means that he has bonded with us, and we can leave him for short durations.  I wait in the hall to make sure he doesn't cry long.

Physically he has gotten stronger and stronger. He still is very much into climbing. He can now walk down the stairs while holding on with one hand. (I don't allow him to do this much, for fear he'll fall)

We have seen an explosion in his verbal skills this month. He says countless words, some more decipherable than others. His name for Abbey is "ahma" ??? Daniel, he says very plainly.

We've had to start putting him in time out. At first he would be so proud to go sit where Abbey goes. So proud, that we figured it wasn't doing the trick. So, we started a new "no-no" spot for him that is more isolated. He doesn't like it at all, so it has been more effective.

 No longer afraid of the patio

Painting with water

Elijah,
I love you so much. You are my little sweetie-pie. I can't imagine life without you. I love going into your room and hearing you say. "Hey!" You are such a beautiful boy. I love the way you love your family. I'm so thankful that God gave you to us!!
Love always,
Mommy

Home for six months

Cute Sayings

Even though Abbey is our 5th child, it still amazes me with some of the things she says....

Last Sunday I put my coffee cup in her backpack, thinking it was empty. Well, there was a little in it and it spilled on her backpack. When we got home she said, "I'm not very happy with you right now." Where oh where has she heard those words before??

She told a friend, "Sometimes I like Elijah and sometimes I don't." Spoken like a true sister!

She can't quite get a handle on her siblings, "I have two sisters and lots of brothers."

She is into privacy when she goes to the bathroom. She's figured out that, "Daddy can see me, but no real boys, right?"

She loves her Daddy, and tells him, "You're my fella."

Abbey is obsessed with Snow White's name. She names everything "Snow White"- her rocking horse, her dolls, her stuffed animals, everything.

One of the things I love about little people is getting glimpses of how their minds tick. You never know what they will come up with. Makes life very interesting, doesn't it?

Building Cathedrals

I remember when I was a younger mother. (Yes, it was a long, long time ago. But, no, my ancient age hasn't affected my memory that much.) I remember feeling isolated, alone and at times I thought, "Now, remind me why am I doing this?" I understood those feelings so much that when the kids got older,  I began speaking at MOPS to hopefully help other young Moms who might be having the same feelings. Then my kids got much older, and those feelings faded into distant memory.

Lately, those distant memories have been getting closer and closer... 

Now, compounded by the fact that none of my friends have the same situation as me... They are either my age and don't want to hear about sleepless nights, discipline problems or potty training,  or they only have little ones and can't relate to teenagers' or young adults' issues.  I'm experiencing those feelings all over again.

Don't get me wrong, I love staying home with Elijah and Abbey. I love doing little kid things. I love watching them grow and develop. But, every now and again, I look longingly at the time when I could read a book undisturbed for an hour (without falling asleep),  go and have coffee with a friend without arranging a babysitter, go window shopping without four little hands pulling things off of the rack as they go by, or just be able to schedule a Dr's appointment without rescheduling because of babysitting conflicts.

The other day, I found an article that was e mailed to me quite a while ago, that I thought was a great encouragement. It is taken from,  The Invisible Woman, by Nicole Johnson.  Here are some excerpts from this article:

"No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything. 
 
A legendary story told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, ‘Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the workman replied, ‘Because God sees.’

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, ‘I see you, I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. 

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women."


Yes, that's it!  Sometimes moms can feel invisible. But, as this article says, God sees what we do. Not only does he see, he approves.  Keeping those facts in mind combat my feelings of isolation. I am living out what God has called me to do. No matter that the world says I shouldn't be doing so at my age, God has called me, and He makes no mistakes. He is waiting for me to come to him with my feelings and he will meet me there. I'm not at all invisible to the God who made the universe. What a wonderful thought!

The Golden Dragon Acrobats

On Friday,Abbey, Elijah and I had an opportunity to see the Chinese Golden Dragon Acrobats with OAKS. This troupe is from Henan, China. The show was one put on for schools, so it only lasted one hour (perfect for a toddler's attention span). Needless to say, it was quite amazing to see the things they could do to their bodies.   Abbey and Elijah sat and watched every bit of the show. A couple of the acts worried me, I could see the wheels in my little acrobat's mind, thinking, "I'd like to try that!"

A couple of things we saw:

 

Those are chairs, almost to the ceiling 

 

Utterly amazing flexibility

The Enigma that is Abbey

Ah, my precious Abbey. She will never fit into someone's cookie cutter mold...

 

Where else would you see a princess ready to play football??

  

Or a little girl that loves to watch "The Three Stooges" with her Daddy?

I've always thought you had to have testosterone to enjoy Moe, Larry and Curly!

She marches to her own beat in so many ways. She seems so confident, so self assured, yet there are times when she is incredibly vulnerable. So vulnerable that it breaks my heart. I wonder about the scars she bears from her past. She seems to have accepted her brother with no hesitations. Then out of the blue, she will look into my eyes and say, "You're my mommy?"  To which I reply, "I sure am, I love being your mommy!" Then she throws out, "You're only my mommy."  I know that she's referring to Elijah, little does she recognize that there are 4 others sharing my mommy love.  She shows her emotions in ever so vague ways. She has gotten a little better at vulnerability, but she definitely doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve. Then there are times when things break through. Today was such a day. 

We have had issues with Abbey sleeping for quite a while. She has trouble going to sleep and is up with the sun. It's not that she is not tired, she will fall asleep in the car just fine. (She's strapped in and can't move). There are times when I just hold her down and usually she will fall quickly to sleep.

But, this afternoon, when I held her down, she absolutely lost it. She started screaming and crying and fighting me for all she was worth. I just held on tight. I could tell this was more than just, "I don't want to go to sleep" This was deep down something. I needed to hold her and I kept telling her I loved her and she was special. Finally she calmed down. I asked her what was wrong, why she was so upset. This part made me cry... she kept trying to get the words out, but each time she would get choked up and the tears would clog up her throat.  I sat there holding her, stroking her face and crying along with her. Finally she got the words out-

"When you leave me, you'll have someone take care of me?" 

Oh, my, the light bulb went off in my mind. She's afraid I'm going to leave while she's asleep! It suddenly made sense why every night when I put her to bed, she says over and over, "I'll see you in the morning." (She says it as I leave her room, and then yells it to me as I get to the bottom of the stairs).   How can I convey to a 3 year old that unless God calls me home, I'm never going to leave her?  That I love her more than life itself?  That she is a precious gift from God and neither He nor I will ever forsake her?? I don't think I can, but today I started trying. I went on and on about how I'd never leave her. I explained that, yes, I do have to work, attend meetings and such. But, I would always return.

We don't know exactly how old she was when she was abandoned. But, I've read that week old infants recognize their mother's smell. I believe she still suffers the scars of being abandoned. Oh, how that hurts my heart! I wish I could take away the circumstances of her past. Doggone it, deep down I wish I had given birth to her. Not that it would make me feel any different towards her, but it would save her this pain. A pain that will probably be with her a long time. A pain I wish I could take away. But, I can't. So we will muddle through this together! We will recognize that the little girl who doesn't act like anything fazes her, actually has many insecurities.  We will pray for God to heal her wounded heart. We will pray that she will recognize how much she is loved and wanted, and what a joy she is to our lives. Even when she only sleeps until 6 am in the morning! 

High School Winter Sports Banquet

Last night, John, Abbey, Elijah and I attended the high school's Winter Sports Banquet. Anna did not go, she opted to work (Ahh, the love of money...). The evening ended up being quite long. I had a pocketbook full of bribery, I mean, Skittles, but even tiny sugar pills can only accomplish so much. By the end of the program, we were in the back of the auditorium letting A and E run through the seats.

Anna and Daniel both were awarded these:

 

  

Daniel got his 2nd year lettering bar and Anna got a letter and jacket for swimming for four years.

 Getting his bar and certificate

 

 3/4 of the relay team that broke a school record

(Matt, Christian and Daniel)

 Gathered for one last cheer! 

A photographer took some pictures of Daniel at the state championship meet. This was the swim where he got his second Jr. National Cut. You can read about it in this earlier post. Here are the pictures.

  

  

Another Skittle please??

A Full Friday: Doctor visits, post placement visit, and the Circus!!!

Yesterday we had a very busy day. It started out with a visit with Anne, our social worker. She came to our house to get the information she needs to write out our first post-placement report. We enjoyed our visit, and of course, she thought Elijah was adorable.

In the afternoon, Elijah went to see a plastic surgeon regarding his accessory auricles. The Dr. said it was a very simple surgery. He did not feel any cartilage, so thought it would be easy to remove. I asked about doing it at the same time as his circumcision. He said that could be coordinated and done at the same time.
It was interesting, the Dr. told me that he and his wife have 4 children and his wife wants to adopt. He keeps telling her that she is too old. He held Elijah, and I hope that maybe it planted a seed...

Thursday, Elijah went for his 2 year old checkup. He left a lasting impression on every ear in the office. He screamed like crazy when they weighed him, got his height, and when the Dr. examined him. He really pitched a heck of a fit!! The Dr. said he looked much more alert and bright eyed than when he had seen Elijah last (in Nov.). He has caught up in many areas. His gross motor and analytical skills are on par for his age. He has some delays in other areas, so the Dr. suggested a developmental screening. I'm not sure if I want to go there. I know he's behind, and I know why. I feel certain he will catch up with time and loving care. I asked myself why I dragged my feet about getting him evaluated??  I realized it would be one more thing on my plate to see that it gets done. I wouldn't mind one more thing, if it was necessary. But, I'm not sure it is. I'm going to pray about it before I make an evaluation appointment.
Here are Elijah's current measurements:
weight~ a whopping 22.9 lbs.~ less than 5th percentile
height~ 32 inches~ right at 5th percentile
head circumference~ 47.5~ 25th percentile
The Dr. overall said that he looked very healthy and although tiny, he was following his growth curve.

Then that Friday evening John, Abbey, Elijah and I went to the circus. A great friend who works for the radio station gave us tickets. We had terrific tickets, about 10 rows up from the floor. Abbey had a wonderful time. I'm sure she will talk about it for a long time. Elijah took it all in and wasn't afraid, much to my surprise. He enjoyed dancing to the music.

 

They started with the national anthem

then tigers...

 

and elephants...

We saw Beth's friends, Dave and his wife, Jen. At the intermission, they asked Abbey what her favorite part was. After seeing many amazing gravity defying tricks such as this:

 

my easily pleased girl said, "The clown did flips!"

 

I think her very favorite part was that Daddy bought her a "lighted twirly thingy"

 

 which mesmerized her when we got home

 Elijah couldn't stand any more excitement.