Saturday, July 6, 2013

A thought provoking encounter

This past week I was taking care of a group of kids while their mothers attended a church function. Within this group of kids, there was a girl. She was cute, slightly overweight with an bubbly personality. She shared much of her life with me within the first few minutes of my meeting her. She told me that she had to be "held back" in school because she couldn't read very well, that she enjoyed swim team and she loved to play games.

My own kids weren't with me at the beginning of the morning, a good friend helped me out and brought them to me after swim practice. When Abbey and Elijah got there, my new little friend took a great interest in my kids. She started out by saying, "Is she your daughter? Did you adopt her?"  Those questions aren't unusual, so I thought nothing of it. We get those questions from other kids quite often. But, then she began to delve deeper. "Do you have other kids? Why did you adopt them? How did you know you wanted to adopt them?" I replied to all her questions, but was puzzled by her questions. After each of my answers, you could see the wheels in her head spinning as she processed my questions.

We went about our morning and it got close to the time for moms to return. She was one of the last to leave. I told her, don't worry, your mom will be here soon. She replied, "She's not my mom, she's just my foster mom!"  A-ha! It all made since, this precious little one was in a foster home. All of her questions really struck me when I found that out. I believe she had an ulterior motive. She was trying to get into the head of an adoptive parent. Could it be that she had been passed over before and wanted to know what would draw a parent to adopt her? It really made me sad, to think about all the little H**s out there, wanting to know how they can attract a future parent's attentions.

 It puts a different spin when you think about a child who wants a family, looking at my two with envious eyes. I could see the longing look as she talked about why I had adopted.  I also saw her stick like glue to me during the morning, maybe thinking that I'd adopt her too, if she could just get my attention; since, apparently in her mind, I was in the "adopting business".

Of course, I don't know for sure that she's available for adoption, but I do know that it's on her mind.  I've thought a lot about this little lady and prayed for her to find a place where she knows she's loved and doesn't have to seek to redefine herself in order to gain a Mom and Dad.

I believe that God place me with H** for a reason. I hope and pray that I did what He wanted me to. I hope that I gave her courage and confidence that one day, she'll be someone's daughter, and won't have to declare, "She's just my foster mom."


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